Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize