We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
