Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's get the cat blown out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
