maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize