i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
