he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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