Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize