Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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