I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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