Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
