That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
