dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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