Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize