This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
