i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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