You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
