She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
