Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
