i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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