You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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