It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
