that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
