I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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