Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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