White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize