I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
