Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
