She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
