I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
