I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
