I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
