I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
