do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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