You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's the barista slut.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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