he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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