I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
