Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
