so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
