im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
