you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
