Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
