i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize