Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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