who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
