Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
