I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
