she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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