my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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