Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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