but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
