Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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