You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize