oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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