Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
