In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
