Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As shirtless as possible
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
