hotel room ftw
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
