I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
