I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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