We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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